By: Barbara Bowes
Date: September 5, 2009

As the fall months approach, employees are finally back at work, school and activity calendars are fully mapped out and people are settling once again into life's routine.

However, it isn't long before that dreaded feeling of "stress" starts to creep in and before you know it, the issue of life-work balance rears its ugly head. Chastising yourself, you quickly ask, "how could this be?" After all, vacation memories are still fresh and the photos are still pasted on your fridge.

Next, you feel guilty for feeling so stressed so soon. But no matter what, you have to admit, if you feel like you are going crazy, you probably are. In other words, feeling overstressed is not a figment of your imagination, it's real and something must be done about it now, before you reach the burnout stage.

While many readers may be hesitant to do something about their stress while it's in the early stages, let me share with you a synopsis of a story I heard about recently. It will make you sit up and pay attention. The story was being told by a famous author who had mastered an ability to balance his life and work. He suggested that people need to look at life as a game in which we are all busy juggling at least five balls. These balls include elements such as work, family, health, friends and integrity.

However, when we look closely, the balls themselves are unique. If you drop the work ball, it is made of rubber and will quickly bounce back. But, if you drop the family ball, it is made of glass. If you drop the health ball, it also made of glass. And, if you drop the friends and integrity balls, they too are made of glass. When you drop one of these glass balls, they won't bounce back. Instead, they will either shatter completely or at the very least be scarred and scuffed for their remaining life. Things will never be the same.

When you look at life in this way, the story has profound meaning and hammers home the importance of family, health, friends and life-work balance. So, put your excuses aside and develop a plan to re-establish balance in your life. The following tips might help:

Pace yourself - Go back to the work and home activity calendars and take a serious look at your schedule. In the workplace, try out the following time formulas: If you are attending a meeting, build in planning and debrief time; for instance, for a one-hour meeting, schedule yourself for three hours. Avoid back-to-back meetings. If you are writing a report that requires research, then calculate five hours of research for every hour of report-writing time. If you already have data, calculate a minimum of three hours of review for every hour of writing your report.

Whereas many employees have children's activities to complicate their time schedule, acknowledge that having to have two children at two different activities in two different locations at the same time is stressful. Either find someone to help with the drive or eliminate some activities.

Learn to say no - For many of us, the word "no" is not in our vocabulary. We can't say no to the boss and we can't say no to the kids or family. But sometimes you have to say no and you can't feel guilty about it. Review your priorities at work and at home every day. Make changes when you have to. Most things can wait.

Take your work breaks - One of the most common work-balance issues is failing to take advantage of the breaks that are built into your work schedule. In other words, a lot of people eat lunch at their desk, mulling over a work situation while they munch on a sandwich. And then they forget to go home at the end of the work day. Take time for yourself, go for a walk. Go home.

Plan for personal time - Create a routine for yourself, be it special time at the gym or time for evening walks with a friend or spouse. Make sure it is a routine and that it is built into the activity calendar; if not, you'll be tempted to miss this time or give it up altogether. Get up an hour earlier, read a chapter of your book or write a note to a cherished family member or friend.

Leave work at work - There are many, many people who drag home that laptop and continue working after supper and/or when the kids are in bed. They burn the midnight oil. Avoid this as much as possible. At the same time, learn to compartmentalize your thoughts; leave work at work. Focus on the here and now and your family when at home and on work when you are at work.

Gain and retain control - The biggest source of stress both at work and at home is the feeling of losing control. Feeling in control is extremely important to self-esteem, your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction with daily life. But it also means that you must constantly solve problems; asking yourself, "What do I have control over in each and every situation?"

Many times, employees worry about problems that have nothing to do with them and/or which they do not have the ability to influence. Sort these issues out, push them aside and concentrate on what is really within your control.

Purge, re-evaluate and simplify your life - There are plenty of studies showing that a clean, uncluttered workspace helps people be more productive. It's true. So, get busy and remove those yellow "stickies" all around your computer. Get rid of the toys and gadgets cluttering up your computer monitor. Move that mountain of paper off the desk and into files. Organize your work tools, remove the grease and grime and give it some shine. Do the same at home. Guaranteed, you'll feel more in control and you'll feel less stress.

Let's face it, our life and work really is a juggling act with many balls flying in the air. But, we can't afford to drop any of these balls, let alone the most fragile balls of all: family, health, friends and integrity. So take some time now; sit up and pay attention to what is really important.

Barbara J. Bowes is president of Legacy Bowes Group a leading HR and executive search firm. She is also author of three books and host of the weekly BowesKnows radio show. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .