Working World - Career Transition

By Barbara Bowes

When was the last time you thought about the power of words?

Was it when you were younger and your parents and/or teachers whispered words of encouragement that motivated you to succeed? Or was it just recently, when you were called into a meeting only to be confronted by that dreadful word “layoff”?

In today’s chaotic times so laced with fear and anxiety, the word “layoff” can be so powerful that it can literally send someone spiralling out of control and into emotional darkness.

Yes, it’s true. Words do have that much power! Words can make us feel powerful or personally defeated. We use words to appeal to others’ emotions and we use words to manipulate or control people.

On a larger scale, it’s well known that people sometimes carefully craft their words to deliberately create disinformation and misdirection. Words have started wars and words have shaped history.

On the personal side, we also know that the words we say to ourselves can inspire and motivate us or sometimes defeat our common sense and create twisted thinking that in turn can lead to unhealthy personal behaviour.

Yet, when we are in a challenging situation such as a layoff or job termination, it is difficult to stay positive and envision a bright future.

Instead, people going through a career transition can easily slip into negative thinking that colours their vocabulary. This negative thinking is then followed by a plethora of negative words peppered with a negative voice tone, a sad and drawn face and sagging body language that clearly spells defeat.

The result is a feeling of drowning in hopelessness, helplessness, uselessness and worthlessness. It creates a poisoned aura around you that in turn only attracts more negativity.

Most people just seem to cruise through life without realizing the power they have within themselves to shape and create the life they want. So, I know it isn’t often that people sit down and think about their thinking, nor do they make any effort to monitor their thinking or the verbal rut they might be stuck in. To do so seems so self-serving.

For some, it might even sound like therapy. For others, deliberately monitoring one’s thinking and evaluating what is being said either to yourself or others is like treading on dangerous territory.

Yet there is so much research out there that supports the theory that words are powerful tools that can be used to reinforce positive attitudes and self-esteem. It’s been proven that words can indeed transform your life.

Why is that a reality? Just how can words change your life? The answer lies in the fact that the subconscious mind has no sense of humor and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image.

For certain, you can’t change the fact you were laid off, but when you describe yourself as a victim and use words and phrases such as “helpless”, “useless”, “unwanted”, “rejected”, “too old” or “out of date”, you do indeed become the victim you describe.

And believe me, these words can have a lasting effect or echo on your life.

On the other hand, if you refuse to dwell on the negativity of the layoff and fill your vocabulary with empowering words or phrases, you can change the experience. This means deliberately making a choice to think positive, to take control of your life and to consciously choose the words you use.

For instance, how many times have you said to yourself, “I can’t”? I can’t get another job, I can’t go back to school or learn new things – I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! What is happening in this situation is that you are convincing yourself that you can’t do something.

You are creating negative images of your capabilities and unfortunately your own negativity is serving to cripple you. Stop right now! Get rid of the word “can’t” from your vocabulary. Deliberately choose to tell yourself that you can accomplish anything you want in life.

In other words, you are what we think. Choosing what words and thoughts you program into your mind and what words you choose in conversations with other people is not just “psycho-babble”, or rudimentary self-help therapy. Thinking before you speak and choosing your words and phrases carefully are simply another form of personal self-management or emotional intelligence. It’s essentially taking control of your life.

Success will come again when you start building positive feelings within yourself and then reaching out to those around you. Because you aren’t accustomed to “thinking how you think”, you may be challenged to apply strategies. Accept this awkwardness and move on.

Start with affirmation statements. Ensure that you create a “here and now” impact by incorporating the phrase, “I am”. For instance, “I am a great mother/father/spouse”. “I am hard working”, “I am good at what I do”. Write these phrases down and tape them to the mirror, to the fridge, anywhere. Read these and repeat them to yourself three to five times a day. Keep in mind that you are who you think you are.

Next, pay special attention to your tendency to use negative phrasing. Restate your desire into a positive. For instance, instead of saying, “I won’t be frightened”, say, “I am calm and relaxed”. In other words, think about what behaviour you want, not what you don’t want.

Again, for the first while, write these phrases down until the positive approach becomes second nature.

Finally, whenever possible, turn a weakness into a strength. Yes, you were laid off, so I know it’s hard to see any strengths in that situation. But when you keenly examine things, you’ll be surprised. For instance, you might find this is the first personal break you’ve had in many, many years. And who knows, your personal stress at this time might be less than it was at work.

As Vera Pheiffer says in her book on positive thinking, there is no heavenly department for the distribution of success. Instead, each and every one of us must take responsibility for our own action, our own feelings and our own success.

And that means monitoring your thinking and deliberately choosing words and phrases that will create and instill a positive personal attitude.

Source: Positive Words, Powerful Results, Hal Urban, Fireside Books, 2004, Positive Thinking, Vera Peiffer, Harper Collins, 1987.

Barbara J. Bowes, FCHRP, CMC
Barbara Bowes is President of Legacy Bowes Group. She can be reached at barb@bowesgroup.com.